It's Not Just Ok, It's Beyond Our Control

I'm not sure why this is coming up so much lately. I guess it's a sign of our times. Recently, a Facebook friend (yes, another one) posted a meme. It was a picture of a woman wearing rainbow stockings. Actually, the picture was mostly her legs, but it was fairly (though not completely) apparent that it was a woman. It could have been a femboy or trans, I'm sure, but that's not the point. The point of the meme was that you were supposed to 'know' that this is a woman. And the caption said "Rainbows. Not as gay as you thought". I have to admit, that gave me pause. Because here's the thing: if rainbows are 'as gay as I thought', the implication there is that this would be a bad thing. If it's bad that rainbows are representative of gay culture, then the implication goes further to suggest that being gay is a bad thing. And that bothers me.

Now, at this point, some of you reading this may be wondering "holy shit, is Destry gay/bi?". (Although there's only 4 of you reading this and you know the answer to that lol) But those of you who truly know me know that I don't just take up a fight only if I have a dog in it. I take up fights when I know it's the right thing to do. When I know, or feel, that I might be able to affect the outcome of a fight in a positive way for those affected, and I feel that it's the right thing to do, I do it. It doesn't matter if it affects me or not. It only matters insofar as it affects my sensibilities. I'm married. To a wonderful woman. So having the right to marry a man has no effect on me. But I think allowing it is the right thing to do. I believe that people are born the way they are, be that L, G, B, T, Q or hetero. I don't believe it's a 'lifestyle choice'. It's who you are. It's decided by genetics and hormones. For some people, it's not immediately apparent, and so when they finally 'come out', their friends and family might wonder why the sudden change? Not realizing that it's not a sudden change, it's just something that the person has finally come to realize, after perhaps years or even decades of introspection. It's not always immediately clear. But genetically, it's always been there.

And it's not always cut and dried either. Recently, on another blog I follow, a trans girl posted about how she hates hearing the names Ann Coulter, or Lady Gaga, because invariably, after some time, somebody will always make the joke that 'she's a guy'. Or "She's a tranny". The term 'tranny', is of course a derisive shortening of 'transexual' or 'transgender'. But the 'joke', made by these people, is that 'she's a guy'. And this trans girl writing the blog goes on to say that she can't get over the fact that these people don't understand how insulting they're being toward her and all trans persons. Because the implication is that a girl who might have a penis is a subject for ridicule. Just that fact is what makes the joke a joke.

A few decades ago, similar 'jokes' were made using racial slurs instead of sexual slurs. They're not different. They're no less offensive, no more acceptable. I think I've reached a boiling point with this sort of thing, and I think some of my 'friends' are going to start finding themselves with one less friend on their list, as I see these things continue. It may not seem like much, but it's a small contribution to the cause of defending LGBTQ rights. We all have the right to not be ridiculed for those things about ourselves which we cannot control.

~Mahalo~

B-I-G-O-T-R-Y

Those of you already following this blog have seen it. Late Monday, a Facebook 'friend' responded to a post of mine with an appalling display of bigotry, the likes of which I've not seen in some time, and would hate to see any of my LGBT friends have to endure. Yes, I do have some. In this day and age, most of us do, even the bigot in question, though he's likely unaware.

Needless to say, I've removed him from my friends list and added him to my 'blocked' list. He has the dubious distinction of being the first.

The post in question was an internet 'meme', as they're known. It was a still photo of Gene Wilder in his role as Willie Wonka. In the picture, Mr Wonka has a very patronizing smile on his face, and the caption goes on to question the claim made by some people that homosexuality is unnatural. The caption disputes this by listing many other 'unnatural' things that we happily accept, like heart surgery.

I shared this meme because I agree with the sentiment and support full equality, regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, religion, gender or gender/sexual orientation. I even have a bit of a 'dog in this fight' as i have family members who are openly gay. My 'friend', who shall now remain nameless as he doesn't deserve the attention, decided to educate us poor equality supporters. To wit: I'll have you know that Gene came from a time when gays were thrown in the gutter. I'm sure he was against homosexuals like anyone else. To put his face on a poster with a gay caption is an insult to him & to me...I'm hardly wrong & theres nothing to get over, but the fact that gays need to disappear fo r good!!!!

Now, nowhere was it claimed that Gene was gay, but regardless of the 'time' he was from, Gene is a progressively-minded man, and even if he does not support equality (which we don't know because he's never been asked) I'm sure he would not be insulted, in fact probably finds the meme funny.

My 'friend' went on to say "He was married to Gilda Radner & practically everyone hated gays back then. Shows how much you know about those times honey, if you were gay or even stuck up for gays you got the shit beaten out of you!!!! & I could care less if you don't like hearing it. Today if you want to be gay then get ready to take the flac that comes with the territory....SIMPLE!!!!!"; and "I could care less if you think I'm wrong, your just one person...remember there will ALWAYS be more against gays than with them...the nagging & the flac will never stop. Gays are too stupid to know that they've opened a BIG fucking wound that will never close..society will never let them live in peace....again SIMPLE!!!!"

More against than with? Hardly. If anything, studies have shown that society as a whole is becoming more accepting with each passing day. As for the rest of it, it sounds like something Strom Thurmond would say. About blacks or gays, take your pick. He was a KKK Grand Dragon, after all.

Anyway, this kind of bigotry really bothers me. Blogging is therapeutic. Comments?

~Mahalo~